Fics like HEADLINE: Phillies vow to teach 22-year-old pitcher how to cook after he got sick from his own under-cooked chicken

Based on a real article headline I saw but it was the Mets instead of the Phillies and I thought well I can fix that problem (Orion Kerkering gives himself food poisoning and Brandon Marsh forces him to stay at the Bohm Marsh household. And then they try to teach him how to cook. You can imagine just about how well literally any of that goes.)

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