Fics like You're Dead (and Outta This World)

“Holy shit!” shouts the EMT at his side. His partner on the other side of the gurney--the other side of the body bag--follows up with a well-deserved holy fuck and stumbles backward over her boots to sag against the back of the open ambulance. “I’m fine, I’m fine, oh God, I’m sorry,” Guillermo babbles. His knees are trembling. He wriggles out of the body bag and hops to his feet, feeling like his legs are a cross between jello and underbaked macaroons, and he repeats his litany of apologies as he bounces from one foot to another to restore circulation. Pain shoots through his joints from the roots of his toes. He ignores it, instead pivoting his head from side to side wildly seeking the detritus of his phone and groceries. “Sir! Sir! You were--sir, please get back here! You were dead!” “Not today, sorry!” -- Or: 3 times Guillermo came back from the dead, and 1 time Nandor was there to see it.

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