Fics like hair of the dog, text of the drunk

The phone lights up on the coffee table. It's a number he half-recognizes — a few weeks back a package for his apartment went to 4D by mistake, and he texted the guy to sort it out, and the guy wrote back a paragraph and a half about how the mail situation in this building was, his words, "a war crime." Eddie didn't save the number. He meant to. It just lives in his phone now as a stranger, and the stranger is texting him. Unknown: hey. HEY. ok this is the package guy from 4D. ur 4B. i need to ask u somethign and its important Unknown: u have the good dog right Eddie: Who is this? Unknown: i JUST said. package guy. 4D. anyway i hear his little feet in the hallway sometiems. tap tap tap. like a tiny gentleman. and i need to know hes real Eddie knows who this is. Big guy, loud, holds the elevator and then narrates the entire ride down. Eddie: Are you drunk? Unknown: thats a seperate issue from the dog Which is not a no. Eddie: [image] Unknown: OH MY GOD Or, Eddie gets a series of drunk texts from his hot neighbor.

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