Fics like Hits Fall in Staccato

Ed was stuck at this table with this toad and he was empathetically not pleased. The pink thing was simpering at him, making pointed comments about his intelligence and breeding. Ed would have strangled the bitch if he hadn’t already given his bodily control over to Truth as soon as he’d sat down. (Truth had a thing about getting to pick what food they wanted at lunch, something about getting the full experience, and Ed was, for once, glad he’d obliged because Truth’s neutral continence was the only thing keeping his limbs steady.) “Of course,” she said sweetly, “If I was the teenage professor of a useless branch of washed-out magic, I suppose my qualifications wouldn’t have to be very high either, would they?” And their fork snapped in half. “What,” Truth breathed with Ed’s mouth, no accent at all, “did you just call my subject?” -- Edward Elric bodyshares with an eldritch horror and reluctantly agrees to teach alchemy to ickle snot-nosed wizards. Naturally, it's a disaster.

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