Fics like Portraits

“Then there’s dry cleaning, which happens multiple times a week, because Laszlo insists on wearing white whenever he’s drinking, and there’s handwashing all the stuff that can be handwashed, and dusting and fertilizing and gardening and taxes--” “Taxes?” “Yes, master, taxes.” “I was not aware of these taxes! We have dominion over our street!” Nandor waves his hands around. “And over Ashley Street. But that is not the point. Why do we pay taxes?” “...Because we live in a house, master.” Nandor growls. “But I ate the guy who owns this house. Now I own it. I don’t owe anything to anybody.” Guillermo glances around for the non-existent cameras, helpless. “America doesn’t work that way, master.” “Yeesh.” Nandor grimaces. “I miss the days when you could pillage a village and declare no taxes because you were the new people living in it.” Guillermo...is pretty sure that’s not how the Ottoman Empire worked, either, but he lets it slide. -- Nandor asks Guillermo to braid his hair one night, inspired by the Pin-ter-est, and it somehow ends with Guillermo coming out as trans.

You may also like

  1. Getting It Right by sapphicjasper (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))
  2. don't stop me now by UnfortunatelyObsessed (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))
  3. gaslight gatekeep girlboss by thepolysyndetonaddictsupportgroup (What We Do in the Shadows (TV), The Magnus Archives (Podcast))
  4. come and break me down by inkstainedwretch (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))
  5. you can run away with me anytime you want by partiallyobscure (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))
  6. Acquiesce by bigbooty16 (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))
  7. Everything Stays by charlubby (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))
  8. 5 times Nandor thought he was protecting Guillermo's virginity + 1 time he did not by Vhett (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))
  9. The Plan by Rivine (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))
  10. The Worst Thing About Having Dracula as a House Guest by rallamajoop (What We Do in the Shadows (TV), Dracula (Movies - Hammer), more)
  11. Be Kind, Rewind by SeptSapphire (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))
  12. Note-Vember (Multi-Fandom OneShots) by littlemouseinapartyhat (Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, more)
  13. Nandor's wish by tea_wth_cinnamoon (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))
  14. Body Guarding by OurLittleSecretOkay (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))
  15. Better Get a Chaperone by ghostoftonantzin (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))
  16. hey little sister (what have you done?) by UnfortunatelyObsessed (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))
  17. Writing Porn (and other ways to seduce your vampire roommates) by UnfortunatelyObsessed (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))
  18. set me off, see what i'm worth by arielmagicesi (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))
  19. the funeral in your veins by Acacius (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))
  20. Five Times Guillermo Helped Nandor Collect Semen (And One Time He Didn't) by cookinguptales (What We Do in the Shadows (TV))