Fics like Aye aye, Captain!

Shane gets a little bit of alcohol in his system and runs off without Ilya. Hours later, he finds himself grouped up with a Bachelorette party drooling over a glistening pair of thick calves wrapped around a stripper pole as he gently places a perfectly straight twenty dollar bill from his wallet. *** "Will someone please write a fic where Drunk Shane runs off and meets up with a Bachelorette party, who then brings him to a male strip club. Ilya finds him looking just like this (mouth open and gaping in awe), and briefly is jealous, until Shane begs Ilya to take him home and do a strip tease for him?"

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