Fics like Do (Not) Poke The Bear
When he thinks he has learned everything there is to know about Valeriy to sate his curiousity– from measurements to the scar running along his back, and even his shoe size, Mitya overhears a conversation between two drunk researchers about the apparent correlation between the size of one’s palms and the size of their… lower halves. And major Valeriy has very large palms… Mitya really, really wants to test this theory now. In which Mitya realizes he's quite fascinated with the male anatomy, of a certain bodyguard of his.
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