Fics like Please Retain for Your Records

Three months into marriage, Shane and Ilya receive their first piece of joint mail. It is a speeding ticket. The attached traffic-camera photograph shows Ilya driving one-handed, his other hand in Shane’s hair while Shane’s face is buried in his groin. Shane wants the evidence destroyed. Ilya wants it framed, laminated, and displayed as their official government marriage portrait. Unfortunately for Shane, Ilya has the joint credit card and knows where the nearest Staples is. Or: The City of Ottawa sends the Rozanov-Hollanders a keepsake.

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