Fics like Close Your Rings

Shane Hollander is being personally victimised by his new brand deal involving his Apple Watch. In its defence, the Apple Watch is only doing what it is designed to do: Also, it is adhering to it's unique bonus features. Features specifically designed to make Shane's life hell. The main one being: notifying his mother about his late night "work outs" with Ilya. Shane would like to die. Immediately. Ilya would like everyone to know that he is looking forward to eating Jackie's chicken parm. Or: Shane’s sex life becomes certified ring-closing data.

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