Fics like pain is cold water

O is for Osteomyelitis *** "You're just missing the parrot on your shoulder," Deb says, eyes glinting mischievously as she and John make their way down the hall. "What?" She gestures to his leg, the one that's been bothering him. "You're limping like you've got a peg leg, but you won't be a fully fledged pirate until you've got a parrot on your shoulder." John rolls his eyes. Hobbles slightly more self-consciously. "Ha. Funny. Bruised my tibia, I think." OR Mark and Susan's prank in S1 E10 isn't as harmless as it seems.

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