Fics like denial

The pain is all in his head. When John was in rehab, he heard the words so often they became a mantra, one that echoed in his mind from the moment he woke up to the moment he fell asleep. Slowly but surely, the nonexistence of pain became an internalised truth. Except now he's sitting on a bench outside of the ER, curled into himself because he hurts, and for once, he can't be convinced that the pain exists only in his head. Something is wrong. OR Shortly after Carter arrives back to work from rehab, he starts to feel unwell. He knows he hasn't been using, but does everyone else? Part 1.

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