Fics like Platonic Divorces and Romantic Weddings

Bilbo Took-Baggins and Nori of the Ri clan were married---platonically as they'd tell you---out of convenience many moons ago. Now, happily divorced and still best friends with his ex-husband, Bilbo decides he wants to help Nori on the quest to Erebor. Bilbo is an ex-bounder, Nori spends half his time in the Shire, Thorin has tunnel vision, and the author doesn't know how to write summaries. ----*----*---- “And no healthy individual wants to learn how to sneak around and steal rich men's shittily-made coins, so I’d go as far as to say that you already weren’t right in the head.” Bilbo finally pulls himself to his feet, planting them sturdily beneath him so he doesn’t start tripping around like a drunken Sackville in front of his new instructor. “Keep talking like that and I’ll divorce you,” he tries to threaten, but it falls flat he infers from Nori’s near bellow of a laugh. “I think we’re going to get along fine, Master Baggins.”

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