Fics like How I've Disappointed You

After Deraa, Lawrence returns to Jerusalem. Concerned and angry, Ali follows. A confrontation ensues. He stuck a finger at Ali’s chest for emphasis. “All I need from you is your tribe. So long as the Harith are assembled in time for Damascus, I don't need you for anything else. Damascus is all that matters. Not you. Not your love. Not your pity. I don’t want those.” His words were brutality, no less painful than a whip on the back. Surely Ali would leave him. Lawrence felt the relief of knowing that would be the end of them. Only then could he be satisfied with the knowledge that Ali hated him as much as he hated himself.

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