Fics like gentle on my mind

Every now and then, when he’s more tired than usual or when he’s had a particularly long day, Eddie will close his eyes in bed at night and think about Evan Buckley. The picture of Buck he conjures in his head is always smiling. That was one thing about Buck that he’ll never forget. Sometimes, it felt like the joy coursing through him was so strong and overpowering it was going to burst out of the seams of his body and shoot its way across the room to Eddie, ensnare him in it and reel him in until he was helplessly, hopelessly smiling back. Buck had many different smiles; big, cheesy grins he used to direct at Christopher; soft, slow ones he’d give to Eddie when they were sitting on the couch in the firehouse late at night; sharp, flirty ones he’d turn on bartenders to get free shots, and then point in Eddie’s direction, which always made his stomach turn nervously. And then, towards the end of their friendship, the sad, resigned smiles, the ones that turned Eddie’s stomach in a way that made him want to run to the bathroom and empty his guts. or a 'what if?' scenario if the season 8 finale ended with buck leaving the 118 and eddie going back to el paso

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