Fics like “Big Macs, Bigger Meltdowns: Ronald vs. The Legend of Luigi

Ronald McDonald’s life is in McShambles after an employee snitches on national hero (and ridiculously handsome vigilante) Luigi Mangione, who’s arrested at a McDonald’s drive-thru. The internet sides with Luigi, dubbing Ronald “McRat-ald” and roasting him mercilessly. Fast food rivals like Wendy’s and Burger King pile on, turning Ronald into a viral laughingstock. Desperate to win back public favor, Ronald convinces himself the only reason people love Luigi is his sexy looks. Cue the most chaotic glow-up attempt of all time: leather pants, a red mesh tank top, and an ill-advised thirst trap posted to Twitter. The result? Universal mockery, memes galore, and a savage intervention from Grimace and the Hamburglar. As Ronald grapples with his downfall, the internet continues to crown Luigi as the true king, leaving Ronald to stew in his failed attempt at sex appeal and his broken McFlurry machines. Moral of the story: Not even leather pants can save you if you’re a snitchy clown.

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