Fics like don't let this darkness fool you

"In her nightmare, she’d been in that form. The convoluted mess of everything she was, all her anger, all her pain. That form was the direct echo of every time she was called monster, every time a scared child had run away from her, because nothing was more threatening to them than someone who was different. She had been in that form, glowing white heart bearing down on the sword, and Ballister hadn’t been there to stop her. There had been no soft whisper of ‘I see you, Nimona,’ no, instead, he’d been down there with the rest of them. Calling her a monster. He’d had his sword with him, the one that he’d pulled on her, hand right by his belt. Except he hadn’t stayed his hand, he’d driven his sword right into her heart. (The way she’s always thought she deserved.) So when she sees him, she flinches away." [Or; Nimona and Ballister both struggle with nightmares. They work through it together.]

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