Fics like Holy and unholy (or How to conquer England with a comb)

“Good heavens, may I know what you’re doing?” groaned Cnut, struggling to resist the urge to turn around just to see how a simple routine of personal hygiene could cause such a turmoil. “I’m conquering England before you. Isn’t that obvious?” Thorfinn yelled back. That roar of sarcasm made Cnut abandon any qualms of decency to turn to look, just as Thorfinn added angrily, “What does it look like to you?” Cnut came up with many answers, but none were taking a bath. Maybe it wasn’t the Apocalypse, but it had nothing to envy to the failed siege of London.

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