Fics like this night has opened my eyes

"All he’s known is fighting and rage, he doesn’t know anything but. His father was all rage, died in it and with it. He passed it down to John, anger was in his DNA and he’d solidified it at eleven years old when he took his first life, just a boy with the blood of a priest on his hands. He should have felt bad, repented to the corpse perhaps but instead, he unsheathed his father’s old blade from his tiny boot and thrust it into the dead man’s chest three times, next to the bullet wound he’d haphazardly put there just moments before. He deserved it. Even though he still believed that to be true, a strange guilt prickles at John when he’s plagued by the memory of it. Rage, guilt and liquor were John’s most perpetual companions." or a canon-compliant character study of john marston

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