Fics like like the storm-tossed sea

It’s okay during the day—well no, it’s not okay. Sam will clap Dean on the back or shoulder, Jack will brush against his arm when they’re standing side by side at the stove. And what used to feel so normal—good even—will feel like too much to handle. Eileen and Sam will hold hands or give each other cheek kisses, and Dean will have to bear feeling so happy for his brother and yet so jealous at the same time. That’s just it, during the day, Dean’s distracted and has reason to keep a tight lid on his crap. But at night— He keeps himself awake until he absolutely can’t keep his eyes open anymore. Then he lies alone in his bed in the dark, and the monster comes—like a hermit crab, it tries to claw its way out of its shell, out of him. It knows nothing but want, and fear of what it wants. Unable to stand it, Dean’s fingers will curl into the sheets and his heart will race and his throat will feel like there’s a scream lodged in it. Not even his old trick with the hot water bottle can lull his body into believing it's not alone. It’s not working anymore, not since his body got a taste of the real deal. Not since he’s been hugged and kissed and his hand has been held.

Fics like like the storm-tossed sea

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