Fics like In My Defense, I Have None

Jean asks for a favor. Neil finds himself at the center of a territorial squabble. It's him. He's the territory. “But why me?” “You are my only good option. Aaron is straight. Andrew is rabid. Allison and Seth are on and off so often it’s impossible to keep track. Dan and Matt are a couple and getting them both to agree to pretend to date me would be harder. Renee doesn’t like men. Katelyn is lovely but Aaron would be angry. I don’t know which of the others started or stopped dating over the summer. That leaves you." “What about Kevin?” Jean scoffs. “You cannot be serious.” “He’s…” What is Kevin? Not any better at telling Riko ‘no’ than Jean is, and, subsequently, probably not great at lying to him. Also, is it really believable that Kevin would jeopardize the team and their athletic careers by shitting where he eats? Probably not. Kevin’s amended hierarchy of needs just has the word EXY at the base. Somewhere far above that are pedestrian concerns like ‘food’ and ‘water’ and ‘shelter.’ “Taller,” Neil finishes lamely. “He’s taller.”

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