Fics like Of Wally-Crawly Harnesses and Over-Enthusiastic Hat-Bestowing Capabilities

Tony raises a brow at him in triumph, then sniffs and rubs the side of his nose. “Besides, think of it this way. Now you got a bullet-proof neck.” “Nobody would even shoot a sad-looking orphan bundled like a spring roll in Red Heart yarn,” Peter points out. “That’s just low.” “Excuse me, young buck, I resent the implication that I would let Red Heart come within an inch of your skin.” “You’re insufferable,” Peter says flatly. “I hate you.” “And just for that, I think this calls for those wool socks I was working on,” Tony says brightly. “No--no, wait--” “It’s time to learn that your consequences have actions, Parker--” “Wait, wait, I love your knitting, I think it’s super healthy and fulfilling and honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to you since you retired!” Peter hollers at the man’s figure as it retreats quickly down the hallway. -- After Peter faints into hibernation because he can't thermoregulate, Tony isn't taking anymore chances. Out come the wool skeins and the knitting needles.

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