Fics like it's a timeless verity.

Living once as an overworked teenage mom (dad, big brother, whatever) taught him a lot of things. For example-- don't pick up anymore children that look homeless, and don't save anymore little girls that are being herded in by suspicious older men. "And somehow I became delegated nanny of the guild. Amazing. Bring on all the little gremlins, why don't you? I'll start a fucking daycare at this point. I should charge for this."

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