Fics like Nikiforov's Law

“I’m a garbage monster,” Yuuri tells Phichit, staring at Viktor through the glass walls of the lab. Viktor has not been in the same room with him since what the denizens of the lab are now calling The Belle Isle Incident. “He looks at me and he thinks dumpster decomp and swamp. I hate my life.” “You’re a very pretty garbage monster,” says Phichit, watching a centrifuge work. “A garbage monster he wants to fuck.” Yuuri Katsuki is a dime a dozen CSI with the Detroit Crime Lab who has never had a conversation with Detective Viktor Nikiforov that did not end in disaster. He's beginning to think that the entire universe is conspiring to make him a fool in front of handsome blond detectives. The universe is doing nothing to prove him wrong.

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