Fics like A Series of Unfortunate Events: the Asinine Assassin

I could create a beautiful summary, exactly detailing how the Baudelaire orphans, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, came to be under the guardianship of one Wade Wilson. I could even summarize their misfortunes as they outwit the dastardly Count Olaf, who has a difficult time plotting to kill someone who is immune to death. If I did these things, your interest might be piqued and you might find it appropriate to continue reading. So instead, I shall simply encourage you to look away.

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