Fics like You Should've Looked Both Ways Before Crossing the Road

“So, if I’ve got this all understood, and hey, correct me if I’m wrong,” Kevin raised a brow, hands in the air as if that would help him understand anything even more than he already struggled to do so. “You… You--” he nodded to himself, “You are Wile E. and… and you’ve become… human. As human as we can legally call you, I suppose.” Sniffling, the man in front of him nodded. Wile E. nodded. “And… this was not related to ACME, any ACME byproducts, ACME subsidiaries, or anything else under the scope of the ACME corporation and it’s employees?” Wile E. shook his head, the brown and grey hairs at the top of his head moving as freely as his ears used to. “Well,” Kevin sighed as he leaned back and nearly broke his already near-death swivel chair, “I can’t help you, then! You know we only cover incidents related to rocket shoe malfunctions, anvils from rooftops, and other non-human consumer product cases.” --- Wile E. Coyote turned himself into a human. He wants to return to normal. He wants to return to the desert. He wants to catch the Road Runner. No one else seems to want this.

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