Fics like Take me out back and—

Svetlana begins her campaign on a Tuesday morning, which is how Ilya knows that she's clearly lost her fucking mind. Normal people do not start harassing their friends about their romantic lives before nine on a weekday. Normal people wait until at least lunch. Sveta💄🔪: I have a surprise for you. Ilya reads the message while walking across campus, his hockey bag slipping down one shoulder. He adjusts the strap to sit further up and considers ignoring the text, but Svetlana has never allowed Ilya to ignore her a day in his life, so he resigns himself to whatever it is she's been plotting against him. Ilya: no. Sveta💄🔪: You don’t even know what it is? Ilya: answer is still no. Sveta💄🔪: You're going on a blind date this friday. Ilya: absolutely not OR, a hollanov college au crack fic

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