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SIDEFALL NEWS August 21, 20XX ISLAND TWO — The rumors were confirmed this morning at an Island-wide summit to discuss Luminara trade routes. Fluixon, Luminara’s Vice President, was seen hand-in-hand with Saparata, Island One & Two’s known mediator. Fluixon and Saparata have appeared at numerous meetings this past year, giving their input and voices on countless issues that have shaped the fate of both Islands alike. Now what does this mean for our future Island decisions? The conflict of interest here is clear— “The fuck is this,” Flux says, very eloquently. Or: BREAKING NEWS: THE LUMINARA VICE PRESIDENT AND SAPARATA ARE DATING!

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