Fics like Be A Goldfish

He wasn't going to let the thoughts win. That part he was sure of, had been sure of since Henry was born, a promise he made in a hospital room to a baby who couldn't understand a dang thing, yet he said it and made a vow: I am not going to do that to you. I don't care what it costs me. You are not going to grow up carrying the thing I've carried. He hadn't specified the terms, back then, hadn't thought through what "that" would come to mean over the next years, hadn't imagined that the promise would eventually mutate into something with far more tentacles than the original sentence suggested. It became not just I won't kill myself which had been the plain meaning of it, but I won't be seen as anything less than fine, ever, by anyone, because being anything less than fine is the first step down a road that ends in— So yeah, he wasn't going to do that. But the pressure had to go somewhere. It always had to go somewhere, and he'd stopped, a long while back, believing he had the right to put it anywhere near another living person. In which Ted Lasso self-harms as a means of avoiding the more permanent solution to his pain.

Fics like Be A Goldfish

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