Fics like Scott Hunter proves he’s not a dinos— dipshit: a lesson in chirping roadtested by Ilya Rozanov.

Scott’s jaw drops. “Oldest?” A flicker of panic crosses Rozanov’s face as if he’s searching for something, some word that he’s definitely gotten wrong. Fastest? Strongest? Precisist (?) “Old? Almost dead?” He says, and it dawns on Scott that he truly means it. “Because you skate slow, like dinosaur.” He then smiles cheekily to himself. “Old, like you discovered America. Thank you for congratulations. I will make sure to beat you.” Scott chokes. Holy mother of Christ. Even in broken English this kid chirps like he created chirping, a genius at assholery, a prodigy that aligns with the likes of the Kardashians level of annoyance. Scott is genuinely at a loss for words. Rozanov waves a dismissive hand at him and crosses the room to a beautiful woman with long dark curls and a backless dress. This kid was going to be a fucking menace. - Or Ilya Rozanov is a menace, but also very sweet and Scott Hunter wishes he never met him. The timeline retold through Scott's eyes.

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