Fics like a balancing act

Agott trusts Olruggio more than she trusts Qifrey, and perhaps that is because Qifrey's longing is occasionally too big to be silent. He imagines that it hangs in the air like a sour smell when he takes her shopping for robes or watches her curtsy neatly to the farmers when they buy freshly milled wheat. It is humiliating and shameful to covet girlhood like this, and every time he catches himself at it, a fear runs through him so sharp that it leaves bruises on his soul – the idea that anyone might see this as perversion is more than enough to keep his nights restless and his calm superficial. Qifrey is convinced that even Olruggio, whose comments over the years have ranged from endearingly naive to knowingly supportive, would be unable to bear witness to these tendencies without misunderstanding the root of the desire. Four girlhoods that were not Qifrey's, and the one that was.

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