Fics like succor me.

"Sometimes the grief —" She motions both hands in a wide cradle at her gut. "Feels like a stomach. And it's not hungry anymore, but it's not empty either. It's just been digesting for decades and nothing is moving, it's just simmering and building and it burns." It takes a moment, but she steels herself enough to meet his eyes again. She doesn't think she has any right to ask, but she's already cracked open — more than she's ever been with someone — so she does. "Do you still feel that way?" or 5 times they connect and 1 time she sabotages it

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