Fics like How to Search Horcruxes for Dummies!
Old Guy met Truck Kun and woke up as Harry Potter. That would be fun, but it is Christmas 98, and he just got bitten by Nagini, and his wand snapped in two. What would you do when you know the story? Nah, Old Guy doesn't follow Canon either. There will be lemons, not the drops, though. Gary Stu and Mary Sue are there to keep it under covers, above the covers, on the dinner table... No, poor Hermione wasn't shagged by Draco, Snape, or Voldemort.
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