Fics like and every year it's the same old song

You listen over and over again as such a cute girl like her laments getting screwed over again by another big city man. Each year, it's something new; no man could ever measure up to what your darling Muffy deserves. This time, you offer to take her back to your place; just to let her clear her head, to talk things over in good company. She agrees easily, having come to trust you over the years. She's so beautiful. Too beautiful to let any useless man have her. Honestly, you practically imagine finding those men and seeing if you can give them a tour of the farm. There's so many ways to ensure they disappear, and you'd do them all and more for her. Maybe you'd let her pick one. But right now, you want to be there for the love of your life. And what matters right now is making her forget all about today. By any means necessary.

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