Fics like shy as a shadow, lovely as lace, and cold as ice

Bilbo Baggins has returned to the Shire fundamentally changed. The hobbits, nosy neighbors and cheerful children alike, notice it in his newly-acquired treasures he displays proudly upon his wall, his increasingly unstable temper, and penchant for telling stories of his grand escapades by his bench in the morning. Well, word-of-mouth (and, judging by Master Baggins' hidden little plait with a golden clasp at the end) is that Bilbo had been engaged to some distant Dwarf: or, that is, he wants them to believe such. After all, Bilbo had always been a bit of a wild sort, and, in his youth, liked to make up stories in his favor to make all the other fauntlings jealous. Cue the hatching of a scheme by one Lobelia Sackville-Baggins to get her cousin to admit his lie. How else may he prove it, if Thorin Oakenshield lays cold in a stone coffin half a world away? How else can Bilbo show that...whatever had been going on with them during those 14 months...was real as the acorn he had buried in his garden? OR, ALTERNATIVELY: everyone thinks bilbo made up a deceased hot steamy dwarf husband for the fun of it. said hot steamy dwarf husband is actually NOT deceased, and he is also very late to tea.

Fics like shy as a shadow, lovely as lace, and cold as ice

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