Fics like I'm Pretty Sure I Qualify As An Invasive Species But There's Just One Of Me And I Refuse To Breed With Anyone Here So Please Stop Trying To Kill Me

There's only so much you can do when your morning commute ends with you stranded in the Misty Mountains. Where to go from here? Step 1: Cry. A lot. No time for that shit Step 1: Fall. A lot. Step 2: Play disco tag with goblins Step 3: Give Gollum some head Step 4: Become the proud owner of a shiny new piece of jewelry Step 5: Introduce Sauron to the concept of RPF Step 6: Go back go back go back go back go back— Modern 20-something transmigrates into Middle Earth but the trope done fucked up.

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