Fics like Chapter 14

What would have happened in *Wolfbird* starting from Chapter 14 if I had written it. OR God, why now? Ilya sat on the floor, a broken toy, his crutches leaning against the wall, an exhausted dog lying on his leg, and he had absolutely no emotional strength left to answer Hollander. Because his chest had been cut open, and inside it beat his heart, drenched in blood and laid bare for all to see. If he started to reply, he would write something foolish, something too candid or too tender or too bitter - most likely, all of those things at once. And then Hollander would have to deal with a human wreck and an avalanche of his - Ilya’s, not Rozanov’s - feelings. And Hollander would be kind and understanding, would pity him, and it would be unbearable.

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