Fics like the world is scared of hesitating things

Once, years before they got their shit together, Ilya had spent a very boring physical therapy session thinking about what it would be like to fuck Shane in front of an audience. To have that beautiful, infuriating boy in front of everyone, to have everyone able to see him fall apart. It had seemed hot then. Now, having seen Shane actually fall apart—seeing him tear down the shroud he’d kept up, the perfect smile, the bravery—the very concept makes Ilya feel sick to his stomach. Everything inside him is razor blades and churning vodka and Svetlana’s awful skincare concoctions. He didn’t know. After Shane blows up at Troy, everyone has some thinking to do. Nobody has a great time.

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