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“Luch-Shane,” Ilya says, catching himself only at the last moment before he breaks their no pet names in the workplace rule. “Why don’t you get some air, yes? We can-” Shane’s anxiety takes a quick backseat to annoyance once more, at being handled like a child instead of a grown man, like he hasn’t been doing this just as long as Ilya, like he needs someone to tell him when to take a break. Like he deserved to have everything taken away from him because he couldn’t handle it to start with. “I’m fine,” he says, voice icy. The step he takes away is too big, farther than he meant to get from Ilya’s side, and the air between them feels both charged and icy. He isn’t quite bold enough to try and fix it. (shane is married and on the same team as his husband) (and all it cost him was his whole career and the life he spent years building beforehand) (but it's fine, really) (it's all so very, very fucking fine)

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