Fics like spartacus.

And he couldn’t stop thinking about it, going around and around in circles in his brain, how he wanted to be himself, faggy little Ilya, who wore adidas and also maybe mesh crop tops (maybe with an ear piercing? He’d always wanted one), and danced in gay clubs and made friends with nice people with coloured hair, and walked in pride parades, and held hands with a Shane-Hollander-shaped boyfriend, out in the daylight where everyone could see, and how he couldn’t do any of that while he played hockey, but he loved hockey too, loved bashing guys into the boards and spitting blood, loved the red of it, loved talking absolute shit, loved being an asshole, loved racing Shane across the ice, loved the scratching noise skates made on ice, loved his boys, loved it all, but it wouldn’t love him back unless he made it love him back. Sometimes he just wanted to be Ilyushka, the boy who danced with his friends and lay on beds, talking about nothing. The closest he felt to that kid was when he was with Shane. - Ilya Rozanov, what do you want? And how are you going to get it?

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