Fics like you talk of the pain like it's all alright

As soon as Ilya realizes that he has to kill himself, his brain immediately latches onto one indisputable fact: someone is going to have to find his body. There is no way around that, but not even the premature guilt for whoever has the unpleasant task is enough to talk him out of it, anymore. If he hadn’t ghosted Galina, she’d probably tell him that he cares so much about it because of his own experience finding his mother. She’d also probably tell him that the fact that losing Shane Hollander is enough to make him kill himself means that he’s got a long, nonoptional date with a padded room clogging up his calendar for the foreseeable future. She already has a lot of fucking opinions about Shane and their fucked up situation, and Ilya really is fucking sick of hearing about it because he will not let her ruin the one good fucking thing he has. Had. (or: there is no plane crash. there is still a catastrophe.)

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