Fics like could ruin everything, could make me somebody new

Through everything, there's an overlay of I want to take his hand, that's so stupid. It's dark here, he could kiss me and nobody would have to know. Is he rough with himself – would he be rough with me? Could he be loud for me? Could I shut him up? It makes Jay feel like looseleaf paper falling out of the sheaf, mixed up with no context, can't figure out where anything gets put back.

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