Fics like the heart is hard to translate (it has a language of its own)

“Hey,” Hollander says softly, settling a hand on Ilya’s back. Ilya turns away and fixes his gaze on a spot of chipped paint on the wall, trying to will the moisture trailing down his cheeks back into his tear ducts. “Sorry,” he whispers, shaking his head. He can’t actually remember the last time he felt so utterly mortified. This is not at all what he’d envisioned happening when Hollander asked for his room number. He’d guessed that a conversation was on the horizon; Ilya had just imagined it happening after he reminded Hollander exactly what he’d been missing while he was off being Rose Landry’s boyfriend. But no, Hollander always wants to clear the air, always needs to fucking talk, even though Ilya never has the right words for him. “Hey,” Hollander says again, somehow even more tenderly. The bed shifts, and suddenly Hollander is crawling into Ilya’s lap and cradling Ilya’s face in his hands and kissing him. — (or, filling in the blanks between Ilya crying in Shane's arms and the bed being absolutely wrecked in the last shot of that scene)

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