Fics like Zohran Mamdani Saves Sesame Street

“Listen, Ernie. I wasn’t going to say this; but there’s something important you need to know.” “What is it, Bert?” “A marriage isn’t a marriage if it isn’t a procreative union.” “What do you mean?” “All semen is sacred, Ernie. That’s why the Church condemns contraception, masturbation, and ejaculation in ways that deliberately exclude procreation. It’s a sin to deliberately waste semen.” “I don’t think anything is wasted as long as you’re with someone you love, Bert.” “A wife’s vagina is the only fitting receptacle for semen, Ernie. Any other receptacle is morally disordered.” Ernie frowned deeply at that. “I think that’s wrong, Bert. People aren’t receptacles, Bert.” “You know what I mean, Ernie.”

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