Fics like Quid Pro Quo

“You look like shit.” A red gaze sweeps Lucifer from head to hoof and back again, followed by a well-sculpted eyebrow rising pointedly. “Yes, yes,” Lucifer says from very much not the high ground. “Pot. Kettle. I’m aware. Why do you look like shit?” Red places his free hand on his chest, fingers spread in gentlemanly offense. “I’m merely winded from all the effort I put into saving the Pentagram from your folly.” Uh huh. No doubt Red’s a real hero. But first, a point of clarification. “My folly?” “When you walked straight into the most obvious ambush of all time and were used as the unwitting power source for a doomsday device that nearly killed us all.” Black-tipped ears perk forward. “Ring any bells?” Oh, fuck him. Also, no, not really. “Well, excuse me for underestimating what you sinners are capable of. None of you have ever managed to hurt me before in all the millennia you’ve tried. I’m not used to ambushes meaning anything.” “Hence, folly.” Red tilts his head to the side at an inhuman angle, canned laughter swelling in the background. “You’re so good at it!”

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