Fics like The Chaos Theorem (or: Shane Hollander needs a nap and a therapist. He got Ilya instead)

Welcome to the Ultimate Game. If you’re looking for a chronicle of redemption or, worse yet, a fairy tale ending with a kiss under the snow, you’ve walked into the wrong locker room. This is the story of a sabotage. For ten years, the hockey world has feasted on the rivalry between two captains with the same hunger one brings to a public execution. And us? We served them the blood on a silver platter, while in the shadows of hotel rooms in Montreal or Boston, we exchanged fluids and secrets with the precision of two spies in enemy territory. They believe the ice is a sanctuary of heterosexual secrets. They don’t realize that while they were betting on our next elbow to the face, they were witnessing a long, violent decade of foreplay. Now, it’s time for El Plan. Shane is the butterfly flapping its wings on an underwear billboard. I am the tornado about to level the entire NHL. Grab your popcorn. It’s going to be a beautiful massacre. My name is Ilya Rozanov, and you can thank me later. Or: how Shane and Ilya gaslit the entire world by officially "starting to date" in 2020.

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