Fics like i know you by your heart (i will call you by your name)

He wanted to take it back instantly. Wanted to swallow his name down, down, down, shove it back into his heart where he’s been hiding it for - god - years. He wanted to go back in time a few seconds, to just before the moment when he ruined it all. He’d call him Hollander, instead. He’d whisper something sweet in Russian so Shane would never know - so Ilya could speak his feelings into existence without Shane hearing them. He’d do anything at all to fix it. (Or, Shane leaves. Then he comes back.)

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