Fics like healing properties

It had been a few years since he’d felt like this after fucking someone, but it wasn’t the first time. It was the first time he’d felt like this after fucking Hollander, though. At first, it was always like this – a feeling of disgust and humiliation curling inside of him when whoever he’d been with left the moment they were done. He was naive back then, dumbly wishing that he could hold his hookups afterwards for just a moment so he felt like he was more than just a body; Hollander had always seemed to cling to him, had always sought out Ilya’s touch like he needed it to breathe. This time, though, Hollander hadn’t reached out for him once, hadn’t brushed his hand across Ilya’s arm or pouted his way into a kiss. He hadn’t even wanted to show off at first, and the thought that he’d hurt Hollander was swirling in his gut and Ilya felt like he was going to puke. or ilya's ep2 domdrop we all saw happen

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