Fics like Robert Cooks Dinner and Eats it too.

“Sit still, will you?” Robert chides, oil dripping from the metal tongs as he clicks them conversationally. “They’re almost done.” Robert Robertson braces a casual hand on his hip as he flips the last sizzling disk of pepperoni cooking over Chad’s tits. Chad, Flambae, reformed supervillain and currently being used as a cast iron skillet, bites back a strangled noise as the metal scrapes against sensitive skin; hot grease making it a smooth glide as his pecs glisten like they’ve been polished. “This… is so fucking weird.” He breathes, the back of his head thumping against the countertop. “You’re a goddamn pervert, Bob Bob.” “You can say that again.” Robert agrees easily, staring down at the man pliant beneath him with mock confusion. “But, remind me, who’s the pervert who agreed to do it with me on a Saturday afternoon?” ----- Robert cooks and eats sausage off of Flambae boobs and I am definitely going to dog hell.

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