Fics like under the mistletoe

It begins, as all things do, with her right hand shoved up a well-greased turkey’s butt. “Talk fast Humphrey, because in case you haven’t noticed, this delicate hand here — ” Blair hisses, wiggling said hand that was currently plunged wrist-deep in the poor fowl’s carcass, “ — was not designed for prolonged contact with raw poultry!” “Oh, shoot, wait,” mutters Dan, eyes darting towards his laptop screen. “Martha Stewart says we’re supposed to rub a sprinkle of salt and pepper, y’know, inside the cavity before we fill it up — ” Blair’s eyes widen in horror. “And you couldn’t tell me this before I grabbed a handful of stuffing and shoved it straight up a turkey’s ass??” (or: Dair, Christmas holiday shenanigans, and perhaps the blossoming of something new…? 🩷)

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