Fics like We Both Know

River Cartwright doesn't like sex, and he doesn't like dating. Somehow, an ill-fated conversation with Spider, the first close friend he makes as an adult, where he tries to explain this results in River finding himself in a friends-with-benefits arrangement that he doesn't remember agreeing to, doesn't want, and can't find a way out of. It's not like it's... it's not like it isn't his fault. That's what River tells himself. He lets it happen, after all, so who else can be to blame? He doesn't get to be traumatized by this. It's not like he was raped. Later on, when people start finding out, they have a different opinion. To them, it's clear that this is in fact exactly what happened. OR: Five times someone learned about what Spider did to River, and one person who already knew. Ft. repulsed aroace River, a heap of internalized victim blaming and aphobia, and the pain of not having the words to describe who you are and what's happened to you.

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